Semiha Kocer

When I became a lead, I realized quickly that work check-ins aren’t enough.

You have to know your people. Not just what they’re working on. Who they are.

Icebreakers helped me do that. I’ve been using them with my team and in 1:1s for a while now and the difference is real.

What makes a good icebreaker question? A few things I’ve learned:

• It’s open-ended. No right or wrong answer.
• Anyone can answer it. If it’s too niche, you’re excluding people without realizing it.
• It’s a little personal. Just enough to learn something real about someone.
• It’s fun. That’s the point.

How to start: tell your team in advance. Drop the question early in the agenda. Answer it yourself first. Start simple. Build from there.

Non-work check-ins aren’t soft. They’re how you build a team that actually trusts each other, especially a remote team.

A few icebreakers I use

• If you didn’t have to work right now, what would you be doing instead?
• What’s your favorite app?
• Who’s your favorite poet or writer or musician?
• What’s the highlight of your day? What energizes you in work?
• What causes you to feel stressed about work? What gives you confidence?
• What are you currently reading?
• There are now 25 hours in a day. How do you spend your extra hour?
• If you were given a one-minute ad slot during the Super Bowl, what would you fill it with?
• What’s the best sandwich ever? What’s on it?
• What is your favorite comfort food?
• How do you relieve stress and anxiety?
• Have you been pleasantly surprised by anything lately?

Do you use icebreakers? What works for your team? Would love to hear.